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Uh-Oh: This Children’s Birthday Clown Is Getting Political
Listen, no one’s more pro-free speech more than me, okay? I’ve got the First Amendment as my email signature. I walked in both Women’s Marches. Both! A democracy dies in darkness. I just wish this clown I hired for Aiden’s birthday would have pulled a rabbit out of his hat instead of a list of all the senators who voted Yes to extending the NSA’s spying power. Is that unreasonable? Am I being too uptight? Censorship is slavery. Again, I’m so pro-free speech it hurts. The only way to heal the growing divide in this country is to cultivate an...
Which Movies on "We Hate Movies" are Streaming and Where
What to do at a party when you don't know anyone - Part 2
Kick a hole in the wall. Insert quarters. Complain that the vending machine is faulty. Walk around and point at various pieces of furniture. Ask, “What is this, oak?” Keep asking people what their favorite Jethro Tull song is. Before they can answer, take out a flute and break it over your knee. Sneak into one of the bedrooms and draw a pentagram under the bed. Tell the host, “We’ve got a situation in here.” Ask everyone how much money they make. Don’t break eye contact. Laugh at whatever they say. “I make ten times that!” Lay on your stomach...
What to do at a party when you don't know anyone - Part 1
Yank out a chunk of your hair and present it to people. Ask them to “pick a card.”